Relationship Issues Santa Rosa

Are you having difficulty dealing with relationship issues?

How is your relationship life? I'm asking about your connections with friends, family, romantic partners and mates* ... or, the lack thereof.

To fully love and be loved are two of the deepest yearnings we have. So why are they so difficult to satisfy? Why doesn't love always flow back and forth easily and naturally? The short answer is that we are wired to avoid pain or adapt to painful situations in the most self-protective way possible. The good news is that we are also wired to connect. Sometimes our most valued relationships get caught in the crossfire of these two fundamental instincts.

Here are some examples of being caught in the crossfire. Can you relate to any of them?

• You feel lonely because of tension or lack of connection in your relationship(s).
• People tend to tune you out when you talk.
• You are a fixer or pleaser, yet it doesn't feel like anyone is trying to please or help you.
• Your irritation with others either pushes them away or causes you to feel guilty.
• You withhold relevant feelings and thoughts from important people in your life.
• You crave a quality of love and affection that doesn't seem to be available.
• You are lonely because of a lack of close friends.
• You have been wanting a romantic relationship with someone special for a while and can't figure out what the hold up is.
• You tend to attract and be attracted to the wrong people and stay in those relationships too long.

If you relate to any of these issues, you are not alone. Loving, supportive relationships require some qualities and skills that we might not have acquired out of the gate. The good news is that they can be learned and cultivated. Some of these include emotional intelligence, communication skills, a sense of inner security and self worth, and self-awareness and understanding.

If you want to build on your capacity to create good relationships in your life, I would love to speak to you. Let's talk and see if i can help.

*If you are in a marriage or committed relationship and there are difficulties between the two of you, please check out the Marriage and Relationship Counseling.